Victorian Ladies and Gentlemen

The ways in which both men and women were expected to behave are explored in several of the readings from this section. As far as men are concerned, John Henry Cardinal Newman in his [Definition of a Gentleman] from The Idea of a University seems to believe that a good gentleman is just that: a gentle man. He doesn’t raise his fist in anger, and his goal during any event or occasion is to keep everyone happy and satisfied, we see this when Newman says, “his great concern being to make every one at their ease and at home” (563). “He is patient, forbearing, and resigned, on philosophical principles” implies that a good gentleman of the time was expected to be somewhat of a push over (564). Yes, there are times for patience and being accepting of other’s philosophies and views, but there are also times to stand up for your own with conviction and with certainty that that’s how you feel and Newman makes no reference to the importance of these types of qualities in a man- at least not in a gentleman.

Sarah Stickney Ellis feels that women are on Earth for the purpose of being man’s “second conscience” (557). It is up to the woman to be the solace that a man needs when returning home from a world that is conflicting and may be confusing to him. In order for the woman to be able to serve as a comforter, she must be shielded from the outside world that her male counterparts need to be taken away from every night. This separation of worlds, an inside world for the female and an outside one for the male, is necessary, in Ellis’s opinion, for the success of the family and therefore, of the society in which they live. I cannot say I agree with this philosophy, especially being a somewhat liberal American, but I do understand it in the context of the times. What I don’t agree with from her writing is found on page 558 when she says:

“Look at all the heroines, whether of romance or reality-at all the female characters that are held up to universal admiration-at all who have gone down to honoured graves, amongst the tears and lamentations of their survivors. Have these been the learned, the accomplished women; the women who could speak many languages, who could solve problems, and elucidate systems of philosophy? No…” (558).

Maybe I have been in school too long to agree with this statement, but I feel that many of the women, dead or alive, that I look up to have had a significant education in some way or another. They have accomplished things worth being remembered for, and if they didn’t accomplish anything of significance, what is the purpose in honoring them? Considering the times, there probably weren’t many women who received educations so many of the women that people admired were queens and women of high stature, so my opinion on the statement could also be a reflection of the ways in which society has changed.